“Be careful of whatever within you that attempts to throw up the lie, to justify not changing for the better, giving all the reasons why you should not choose for the better. Dare to change for the better. Find the courage, find your freedom, find your willingness, and keep your focus on the blessings, which is the greater good available to choose now.”
- John Morton
(From: You Are the Blessings, p. 234)
What John Morton describes in this passage is sometimes called “resistance” in the coaching world. Indeed it takes courage, positive focus and willingness to move beyond it and into your own freedom and creativity.
Here are my 6 simple but powerful steps to overcoming resistance:
Notice resistance is present. This can be difficult to do because resistance likes to hide under excuses, justifications and denial. Practice noticing when resistance is present. Don’t judge it, just notice it.
Explore it, acknowledge it, allow it to reveal to you your fears, worries, doubts and inadequacies. You might ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” This step doesn’t seem particularly fun, but draw upon your courage and remember: “The best way out is always through.” (-Robert Frost)
Forgive any judgments against yourself or others. “I forgive myself for judging myself for/as…” Continue saying these statements until there is a noticeable shift in your attitude. When true compassion for all involved in the situation is present, that is a sign that you have forgiven.
Discover your silver lining. There is always something precious just beyond resistance and self-judgment. What is the blessing? A talent you have not yet explored? Something you want but have denied yourself? An opportunity to be more kind, more accepting, more honest? What have you learned? That may be your blessing.
Choose and take one tiny baby microscopic action step towards strengthening the blessing you identified in Step 4. Make it small; make it something you can easily have success with. In this step, you commit to yourself. Demonstrate the value you have gained from moving past the resistance.
Appreciate yourself for having the courage to look, to forgive, and to take action. You are well on your way to becoming your own master coach.
What tools do you use to overcome resistance, procrastination, avoidance, denial, or inaction? Please leave a comment below, or email me your ideas. I would love to discuss them with you.